This is hilarious, author unknown... Future News Story THE TRAGEDY OF PKSD Date: TBD 2010 Across the United States we are seeing an unexpected result of the Iraq War
play out before our eyes. Many brave, patriotic civilians went to Iraq as part of LOGCAP (Logistics
Civilian Augmentation Program), and returned to what they thought would be a
normal life back here in the States. However, many of these individuals
have since been diagnosed with what is now known as Post-KBR Stress
Disorder, or PKSD. These individuals became addicted to high pay for nominal work, very often
in jobs they were totally unqualified to perform; and when they returned to
what is known as "the real world" they were unable to adjust. Many have
refused to return to whatever jobs they had prior to their tour in Iraq,
having given themselves the delusion that they actually were qualified for
the positions they had graciously been given while there. A great number of them have refused to work for fair wages in America after
having been spoiled on the pay they received while working (or at least,
filling out a timesheet) overseas. This has caused great stress in many families as sufferers of PKSD have
refused to assimilate back into the real world. Many, for years, only saw their families when it was R&R, fun and vacation.
Now they are having to deal with the problems that go along with normal
life, and they refuse to do it. Another problem is that when they were home
in a vacation frame of mind they had more than enough money to spend on
every whim of themselves and the family. They spent money like the cash cow
would never stop giving and did not adequately plan ahead. Now that they
have refused to go back to work they are frustrated that what money they had
saved is now gone and they now face financial devastation. Also, since they
are no longer the great financial provider that they once were, it has led
to marital problems, in many cases. For some reason that is unclear until further research can be done, everyone
who ever worked in water purification and returned home has turned gay.
That's right, they have all become flamers. Researchers say it may take
years of study to determine why this has occurred. They have ruled out the
chemicals, and now believe it may be the long hours they spent alone
together in the ROWPU units. With the war over in Iraq and things winding down in Afghanistan there
is no longer a great need for highly paid, unqualified people in the
LOGCAP program. Former Operations Coordinator for KBR, Many companies that hired KBR HSE
Coordinators are still trying to do what he did in Iraq are facing OSHA
fines, and some, loss of contracting license. This new phenomena has overwhelmed the mental health industry. But, since
these individuals no longer have jobs they no longer have health insurance
(unless they are still married and the spouse provides it), so most are SOL. Most truck drivers from Iraq refuse to go back on the road, claiming it is
boring without the threat of roadside bombs and small arms fire. Many more
truck drivers could not adjust to not driving in a convoy without a military
escort. Almost all say they will not renew their CDL. The Food Service Industry in the United States is enforcing a total ban on
individuals who worked in KBR DFACs due to liability issues. Insurance
providers will no longer provide insurance to restaurants, grocery stores or
food industry suppliers who employ former KBR employees. Although it has
not been confirmed, there are many rumors that some former KBR Food Service
personnel are secretly being employed in restaurants that specialize in
Indian Cuisine. Almost 100% of the KBR medics who did try to return to work are now facing
loss of their medical credentials and lawsuits due to some type of
malpractice at their new jobs in the States. It seems that whatever the
problem of the patient, whether conscious or unconscious, all they would do
is try to get them to drink water. Firemen. ? This reporter would not even know where to begin. And one Home Depot store which hired a former KBR Materials Manager had to
close down within 3 months of his hire because of the massive mismanagement
of inventory. When asked for a comment, the Store Manager said, "I can't
@#$%^&* believe how @#$%^&* incompetent this (&}%^ guy is. We {"+=&% hired
him with the @#$%^&* recommendation from his *&^% former *^%$#& employer,
but he surely had to be a ("+}^% when he %$#*)+ worked for them, too. He
%^&$# things up at light speed. I don't see how his former @#$%^& employer
kept from getting slammed by the government." He had more to say about the
man's Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, etc. Many of the former KBR employees spend long hours at the local convenience
stores talking to the Indians and Pakistanis who work there, seemingly
trying to re-experience their days of job and financial security. A strange
twist is that they will not go to work for a fair wage, but many will
readily sweep and mop floors at the local 7/11 for a six pack of beer and
the privilege of being able to hang around and bore the owner with their
stories of Iraq. This is ironic since in their previous job the South
Asians worked as their labor. Recently, some of these PKSD sufferers caused an international incident.
They pooled what little money they had and tried to start a rebellion in
Tahiti, in hopes that the United States would intervene with the military
and re-expand the LOGCAP program there. However, the poor fools ran out of
money drinking in the bar the first night there. The exception to this problem seems to be individuals who worked for KBR
Security. 100% of these individuals have readjusted and become productive,
successful members of their communities. I am sure researchers will want to
know the reason for this phenomenon.